Who Killed Christ?
A question was asked “In the Brother’s Karamazov, Fr. Zosima mentions that a man must realize he is responsible for all the sins of mankind. How is this possible?”
Answer: Every time I have sinned, I am again guilty of the entire fall of all creation into Death. Each time. When I sin, I bring death to the world again as the first time. Every child that starves. Every forest that dies. Everyone who anywhere suffers illness, want, or in any way. All suffering and pain is my fault. It is all my fault. My own most grievous fault. It is like the old catechetical question: “Who killed Christ?” There is only one answer, and every Orthodox person must learn it: I did.
So who brought death into the world, and every result of death, every frustration of man, every harm, and all sins, which result of death? I did.
Mine is the first sin. Which is why every liturgy, when with the psalter we pray “Deliver me from bloodguiltiness O God,” I know truly that I am speaking of my great crime. I am the original mass murderer. The original genocidal maniac. The willing destroyer of babes. It is a difficult answer to hear, and not easily digested by everyone. It is often thought such an answer is overstated, but it is confirmed again and again by our fathers in the desert. When they teach us, “consider yourself inferior to all men”, they aren’t being coy. I think they know that when one of us gives account for all the crimes of the world, he no longer thinks himself greater than his Master, but knowing his crimes, can make his life a metanoia before God.