Someone recently asked me why my wife and I follow the piety (pious custom) of standing on opposite sides of the Church. I’m not much in the mood for writing an answer to this, but since there are many answers available from the Saints and Fathers of the Church, I’ll just offer this quotation and perhaps write my thoughts at a later date:
“And when the Exorcism is made, until the rest who are exorcised be come, let the men stay with the men, and the women with the women. Here I would allude to Noah’s ark; in which were Noah and his sons, and his wife and their wives; and though the ark was one, and the door was shut, yet had things been arranged suitably. And though the Church be shut, and all of you within it, yet let there be a distinction, of men with men and women with women. Let not the ground of your salvation become a means of destruction. Even though there be good ground for your sitting near each other, yet let passions be away. Then, let the men when sitting have a useful book; and let one read, and another listen: and if there be no book, let the one pray, and another speak something useful; and let the party of young women be so ordered, that they may either be singing or reading, but without noise, so that their lips may speak, but others may not hear. For, says the Apostle, I suffer not a woman to speak in the Church; and let the married woman do the same; let her pray, moving her lips, her voice not sounding: that Samuel may come, and thy barren soul may bear the salvation of God who hears prayer; for this is the meaning of the word Samuel.”
— St. Cyril of Jerusalem
The Procatechesis
SVS Press 1995
One casual note: Some people ask us about these things and then affect being offended at the answer. We didnt’ invent these pieties; they’re as ancient and venerable as the first temple. We did this before the Incarnation, and we did it after. We’re not insisting that you keep them, or that you pray at all for that matter. These are things that we’re going to do, and we’re certainly not apologizing for it. Occasionally, someone will try to turn it around, as though we’ve prescribed a course of action for them: “Well, my bishop or priest has said we don’t have to do that.” He’s right. We don’t. In fact, none of has to do that, or bow, or cross ourselves, or stand, or any other such thing; we’re free. These are, however, good, holy, and sensible pieties of the Church, with an immense tradition behind them, and we plan to continue in them. [It’s not about you, but if you want to make it a source of debate, don’t whine when we give you the answers.]
The people being prescriptive or controlling about such things are the ones nosing around in our pieties, and then throwing a tantrum over the explanation. The coup de gras is when they come back with their own prescription, “Well you need to stop doing that, because it’s violating our common culture here. We all need to do the same things.” Now that, I’m afraid, is a heterodox notion. In fact, it’s one of the notions behind installing pews – or “Christian cubicles”. We’re not in this to be homogenized into a religious culture of least common denominators. It’s almost always some self-appointed lay-nazi, too, trying to make you conform to the norm (or fail to conform to the pieties the Church); it’d be rather shocking (and certainly unacceptable) for a clergyman to do so – typically, they know better.
Personally, I’ve seen some pretty shocking use of manhandling in a cult-like traditionalist environment that’s just the other side of this coin – forcing people to bow, grabbing men’s hands if they put them in their pockets (admittedly a bad thing), cornering people about their clothes. That stuff gets out of control too – it’s not about piety, it’s about homogeneity. Cult, cult, cult. And very American, for all its pretended fealty to a motherland.
In short, my current answer is not going to be to provide all the reasons for the good and pious custom in question. I have to go to work squashing the passion of annoyance first. For now, I’ll just say, “Hands off. This is what we’re doing. Mind your own business.”